


It hurts until it doesn't

by ThatWALKERKid



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Juliantina, Love, Rebuilding, Reunions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2019-11-18 23:02:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWALKERKid/pseuds/ThatWALKERKid
Summary: Valentina had asked for space, and Juliana had given her just that. But months had passed and space had turned into something else. Valentina feels like its too late and she's missed her chance and a run in with Juliana and another woman seem to suggest that everyone except her has moved on. Can they find their way back to each other? Rebuild what they had?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly AU. The beginning is a condensed version of Val asking for space. I also took out the funeral and other non Juliantina related stuff. I didn't wanna write another multi chap fic but here were are. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> As always feel free to yell, like, comment and be in love with these women with me here or on twitter @theQueerwriter

* * *

 

 

The world felt like it was spinning.

 

The ebb and flow of the waves in her life increasing to roaring, crashing, self destructive king tides, that threatened to swallow her whole and destroy her all at the same time.

 

Her mind was a mess.

 

A chasm of conflicting thoughts, each one vying for a place at the forefront of the cue. It had beat her down, broken her, fractured her like, soft fragile bone, snapping like a rope under pressure. 

 

And just like that she was falling.

 

Falling. **Fast**.

 

Falling. **Out of control.**

 

Falling. **Hard.**

 

She wasn’t scared of that, of falling, it was the sudden stop at the bottom that did the most damage; like a car crash in slow motion and then its crunching metal, smashing glass and torn flesh and cracked bones and ruined organs.

 

It hurt to breathe. The pain not physical but one of emotion, of feeling.

 

Valentina couldn't understand how something so beautiful, so pure, so intrinsically meant for her, could be viewed as wrong, as a perversion. It tore her apart further that the only other person who even remotely understood what she was feeling, had succumbed to the narrative of others, had been so forcefully preyed upon that she had chosen to follow the accepted path, leaving her alone, tired and unsure of anything, being swallowed by the black hole that had opened in her.

 

If she was honest with herself, she didn’t exactly blame Juliana. Everyone in their lives had cursed them and tried to keep them apart, how could she truly blame anyone for breaking when they've been vilified and condemned for how they feel. Valentina hadn't even been sure of what to make of it at the start. She’d never felt anything like this with any of the guys she’d dated. It was a perfect magnetism, a push and pull of a string tied to her soul. She couldn't help but be drawn to Juliana.

 

She  couldn't explain it and she wouldn’t dare try because something so held together by the delicate beats of her heart could only be cherished, wanted and nurtured without question.

 

But right now…. it hurt.

 

Because she was mad and sad and hurt and confused and all of the things she didn’t want to be; not when she’d felt the sun on her face, the warmth of its rays piercing her soul, filling her existence with the most beautiful light from Juliana’s fingers dancing across her skin, her lips pressed to her own, her arms wrapped around her, holding what had been the broken pieces of her together after her father’s death.

 

And now she sat across from Juliana, in her room, on the very bed where they had woken up together after their first time with each other.

 

She seemed so close, yet so far away.

 

Valentina had thought she’d never see Juliana again but as she woke, there she was, standing next to her bed; Valentina had all but forgotten everything for half a moment and after she had pulled her into her arms, all soft and warm and alive, everything came rushing over her, like the light blinding her after a mask being removed.

 

Relief turned back into pain, into confusion, into it being to hard to breathe.

 

As they spoke, a bitterness rose from within the blackness threatening to consume her.

 

_“So is it also a lie that you slept with him?”_

 

The words coated her tongue with a disgust, a taste of the worst person she could be. She watched as each word hit Juliana in the chest, an arrow for every one, piercing her skin, breaking the bone, tearing through her heart.

 

_“Things weren’t fine, I was confused. I didn’t know what was going on with me, or if… if I wanted to be with a man or not and….”_

 

Juliana trailed off and Valentina searched her eyes for what she’d say next.

 

_“You and I…. weren’t together.”_

 

Valentina worried the inside of her cheek with her teeth. She was so caught up with how she was feeling that she completely overlooked the fact that Juliana had just had her first sexual experience with a guy. She felt her bitterness soften a little.

 

_“I suppose you have the right to do whatever you want.”_

 

And it was true, Juliana could do who or whatever she wanted. They weren’t together. But there was still so many questions that Valentina needed answers to and before she knew it, the words were selfishly tumbling from her lips.

 

_‘Did you like it?”_

 

Barely a second and Juliana was answering, no hesitation, a clear answer.

 

_“No. No I didn’t like it. it doesn’t even come close to what I experienced with you.”_

 

The words so full of strength and realisation. Their eyes locked, trying to find a way back to the before.

 

_“I swear to you..”_

 

Valentina wanted so much to feel the weight of those words settle against her skin, for her to let go of how hurt she was feeling. She knew it was selfish to place so much of the blame of this situation on Juliana, not when Sergio, who she thought had been her friend, had pretty much taken advantage of her and abused his position as a person Juliana could turn to.

 

But everything that had happened recently was swirling and overwhelming her ability to reasonably accept that it was something Juliana had to do and it had nothing to do with her. It left a need for distance, of space, so she could process everything. Juliana’s eyes stared back at her, searching for a way in, for a way to undo what had been done but all that Valentina could give her was, reddened whites surrounding defeated, slate grey irises.

 

_“I think that after everything we've been through, we’re more connected now than ever. I know that we aren't a couple anymore but what we have is really strong…”_

 

Tears bit at Valentina’s eyes. She wanted nothing more than to soak up every word Juliana was saying, wanted nothing more than to have her clear feelings back.

 

_“I don’t know anymore…”_

 

She sensed the air shift and Juliana deflated even further but Valentina knew she had to continue.

 

_“So many things have happened and they’ve been… so intense that… I don’t even know what to tell you.”_

 

Her tears fell freely now, the levy broken, the dam bursting. She had cried so much lately that she’d thought there weren’t anymore to cry but there they were streaming down her face. Juliana grabbed her hand, a slight spark going through her.

 

_“I just wanted to tell you that I will be here for whatever you need.”_

 

The words sticky plasters over gaping wounds because Valentina knew Juliana meant every word but what she was about to say would change things.

 

_“Thanks but I guess I need to be alone… I need a lot of space really.”_

 

Juliana let go of her hand, sensing it wasn’t their dynamic anymore. Valentina looked on as Juliana swallowed the lump in her throat, the ball of realisation that Valentina didn’t want her around.

 

_“I understand..”_

 

Valentina watched as Juliana left from the large window in her bedroom. The sight clawed at her but she had asked for this, for space. 

* * *

 

But then space turned into something else; a life of its own. 

 

Weeks dissolved into months and with each passing day, Valentina questioned herself as to if she had completely destroyed the very thing she was trying to protect. It wasn't until one moment when something good happened and she’d gone to tell the one person she’d always wanted to share the good things with, that she truly berated herself. But it had been months and Valentina was sure things were too far gone to be repaired.

 

She shook her head, trying to clear it of the anxiety it had begun to manifest; she needed some fresh air.

 

Leaving her families compound behind, she has her driver drop her off at the park. The past few months had seen many changes for her family, for herself. Valentina had given up on journalism and instead had begun to focus on the media empire her father had built, particularly the broadcast side. 

 

The sun was warm against her skin as she walked through the park. People milled around her, children with parents, couples and friends enjoying a coffee at a pop up stand. She had been wandering aimlessly then froze as she came upon a bench, **their** bench, the one they had first met on. She didn’t freeze because of the bench itself but rather the figure sat upon it. They had her back to her but Valentina would never forget that style, the slope of her neck or the way her hair shone mesmerisingly in the sun. A flood of butterflies battered against her ribcage but soon dived down into the pit of her stomach as Juliana shifted, revealing she wasn't alone. Valentina’s heart thumped painfully as she watched the other woman tuck a loose strand of Juliana’s hair behind her ear and make her laugh having said something funny. The smile it left on her face hit her eyes, just like it used to with her. 

 

As hard as she tried she couldn't seem to take her eyes off the pair. The lingering touches, the way Juliana ran hand through her hair. Everything pointed to her having moved on and why wouldn’t she after Valentina had basically told her they were done.

 

After a few moments, Valentina realised she had been staring and the woman had noticed, nudging Juliana pointing her out. She turned to leave but hesitated as Juliana called her name.

 

_“Valentina?”_

 

It was the most perfect sound; a prayer from the gods, a righting of the universe. She turned back as Juliana stepped up to her, leaving the other woman on the bench by herself. Valentina wasn't sure what to say or even if she should say anything at all. The choice was made for her as she felt herself being pulled into a hug. She was stunned for a few moments but melted into Juliana, face buried in her neck, arms wrapped around her tightly.

 

A few moments passed and Juliana stepped back out of the embrace, a small smile on her lips. 

 

_“Hey..”_

 

It was all she could manage. She didn’t trust herself just yet to form a coherent sentence.

 

_“Hey.”_

 

A silence settled between them and Valentina didn’t know whether to be relieved or annoyed at not being able to speak.

 

_“It’s good to see you..”_

 

Valentina felt a smile pull at her lips and she nervously tucked her own hair behind her ear.

 

_“It’s good to see you to. I didn’t mean to interrupt, I…. was just out for a walk, don’t let me keep you.”_

 

She was flustered and terrified and oddly warm and needed to get out of there fast but she stayed rooted to the spot.

 

_“No, no Val it’s okay.”_

 

Her name rolling off Juliana’s lips was all she could take.

 

_“I’ll let you get back to your friend, I… i have to go. It was good to see you.”_

 

Without anything further, she turned and strode away, willing her legs to move faster as Juliana called after her. 

 

_“Val wait!.. Val.”_

 

She didn’t turn back to see the disappointment on Juliana’s face or the fact the she left immediately after and alone.

* * *

 

 

Valentina sank down into the large leather sofa in one of the many rooms of her house. She had been driven right back home after her run in with Juliana. So many thoughts ran through her mind.

 

**_Who was that woman?_ **

 

**_Was Juliana dating her?_ **

 

**_Had she moved on?_ **

 

**_Why had it felt like home in her arms if she had moved on?_ **

 

She sat contemplating all of these things when Guille came in and sat down in front of her.

 

_“I see your mood has returned….”_

 

Valentina ran a hand through her hair and groaned.

 

_“Juliana?”_

 

She hated how he could read her. They had been the closest out of everyone and Guille accepted her for who she was, no questions asked, only love and well wishes.

 

_“Did you finally see her?”_

 

Valentina nodded, a heavy breath escaping her lips.

 

_“That’s a good thing isn’t it?”_

 

A shake of her head the mirror opposite to her previous nod.

 

_“She was with someone… another woman.”_

 

She watched as realisation dawned on his face. He gave her a small, sad smile.

 

_“And you think she's moved on?”_

 

Valentina sat forward, forearms to her thighs, her fingers becoming a focal point.

 

_“Why wouldn’t she? I told her to give me space and she did. I left it too late and now she has moved on.”_

 

Guille moved to sit next to Valentina, pulling her into his side, which she gratefully snuggled into.

 

_“What did she say when you spoke with her?”_

 

A silence echoed around them and then he knew.

 

_“You didn’t talk to her did you? Why not Val?”_

 

Val sulked in Guille’s arms.

 

_“I hadn't expected to see her and then there she was, with someone else. We said hi and then I made an excuse to leave, I didn’t know what to say Guille….”_

 

Guille sat them both up and turned to look at Valentina.

 

_“I did not know what to say to Renata either but then you told me I had to figure it out before it was too late. I spoke of truth and feelings and hope. I spoke from my heart.”_

 

Valentina smiled sadly back at him.

 

_“What if it is already too late?”_

 

He lifted her chin with his finger, to look her in the eyes.

 

_“Has how you feel about her changed?”_

 

A tear slipped from Valentina’s eyes as she shakes her head.

 

_“No, she’s still one of the most important people in my life.”_

 

Guille shook his head.

 

_“Val. Do you still love her?”_

 

This was it. It was now or never. She had to admit to herself what the truth was.

 

_“I never stopped… I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her.”_

 

A smile spread across Guille’s face, mocking Valentina slightly.

 

_“Then tell her that! Life is too short little sister, to not love who and how we want. And even if she has moved on, at least she’d know the truth and you would have some peace having got it off your chest.”_

 

He sat forward and dug around in the inside pocket of his jacket, retrieving a small folded piece of paper and handed it to Valentina.

 

_“Don’t let what ifs and maybes dictate how you live. You have a chance, hope… and that’s worth a lot more than having nothing at all.”_

 

With a gentle kiss to her head, Valentina watched as he disappeared from view. She contemplated the piece of paper in her hand, opening it slowly.

 

**_“Val, meet me on our bench tomorrow. 10am, Por Favor, I need to explain.”_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina is filled with mixed emotions about meeting up with Juliana and not everything goes the way she wants and Juliana confesses a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this story, kudos and commented. All help so much as a writer, knowing people want to read and are liking the story is just amazing. 
> 
> There is some Spanish mixed in this chapter. I apologise if any words are wrong, I'm not fluent in Spanish but am increasing my knowledge and vocabulary.
> 
> As always yell, like, comment, be in love with these characters with me here or on twitter @theQueerwriter.

* * *

 

She had almost talked herself out of it again.

 

After a long sleepless night of ups and downs, of talking herself in and out of meeting Juliana, Valentina sat on their benching the park.

 

Just like the previous say, the morning sun was warm and left a gentle glow on her skin. She fiddled with an invisible spot on her jeans, hoping to will it into existence, to take her mind off the rising unease from the pit of her stomach.

 

It was a few minutes before 10am and Valentina had arrived with just enough time so that she wouldn’t chicken out. She was a mixture of nerves and filled with dread that this was it, that everything would be said and done and they would both go their separate ways, never to see each other again.

 

Valentina had never expected this…

 

To fall in love with a woman.

 

And if she was honest, it wasn't all women at the time, it was just Juliana but as she came to realise and understand her feelings, she knew man just didn’t have what any woman did.

 

But still, right in this moment, she was whole heartedly in love with Juliana.

 

A lump formed in her throat as she saw Juliana making her way towards her. Her heart thumped haphazardly, the way it always used to in her company. She still had no clue what she was going to say but as Juliana stepped up to the bench and pulled her into a hug as she stood, the world seemed to right itself, like she was a yacht in rough seas, her keel righting, to steady her.

 

It felt warm.

 

It felt familiar.

 

It felt like **_home._**

 

It was a long minute before Juliana released her and they sat down on the bench next to each other.

 

_“Hi…”_

 

It was soft, a whisper almost but Valentina was thankful that she could at least form words today. She couldn’t however, seem to keep her gaze on Juliana, she didn’t feel worthy.

 

Juliana must have noticed because Valentina felt her shift closer to her, their knees pressed together sightly, a tentative hand caressing her own.

 

_“Val… Mirame.”_

 

As hard as her mind was fighting, Valentina knew there was no point in going along with it anymore; she closed her eyes and let everything go, clearing her mind, letting free and feelings or perceptions she had of how this meeting was going to go before lifting her head to look at Juliana.

 

The softness of Juliana’s eyes hit her square in the chest, the little smiling pulling at the corner of her mouth, beginning to patch the holes in her soul.

 

_“How have you been?”_

 

Valentina wanted nothing more than to blurt out everything that had happened in the months since they'd seen each other but knew it wasn't going to help the situation.

 

_“I’m sorry Juliana, for everything… I didn’t know what was happening and then before I knew it months had gone by…”_

 

Juliana tilted her head slightly, a sadness ghosting over her features as she grabbed Valentina’s hand gently.

 

_“I would have been there everyday if you wanted me too, but you were the one who asked me to stay away.”_

 

Valentina groaned and slumped against the back of the bench.

 

_“I know, the space between us is my fault and now…”_

 

Valentina trailed off, the thought of Juliana being with anyone else still a hard hit to take.

 

_“And now?”_

 

The words pulled Valentina out of her own head.

 

_“And now It’s too late.”_

 

Juliana’s eyes burned into her and Valentina knew it was now or never.

 

_“You are one of the most important people in my life and I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, and I’m an idiot for how I treated you, for not realising sooner that we are meant to be together… But it’s too late now because you’ve moved on and all I want is for you to be happy and if she makes you happy then that’s everything…”_

 

Juliana shook her head and gripped Val’s hand a little tighter.

 

_“Wait Val, No… I… Okay let me explain okay.”_

 

Valentina let out a heavy breath that she hadn’t realised she’d been holding in. She nodded, urging Juliana to continue.

 

_“Yes… I’ve moved one…. moved on to the person I’m supposed to be but… I haven’t moved on from you. I didn’t know that the first time we sat on this bench that I’d fall in love but after everything we’ve been through, I think we are more connected now than ever. I understand why you needed space, because while it has been hard being away from you, I needed it too. to be sure of myself, to grow and find my way. To be honest, I didn’t think you wanted me in you life anymore. So much time passed and I lost hope of seeing you again and then there you were.”_

 

Valentina worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she listened to Juliana.

 

_“Lo siento, Juliana. I really am. I could never not want you in my life and I will spend everyday trying to prove that to you.”_

 

Juliana smiled sadly at how it seemed Valentina was falling apart in front of her; which made what she had to say next even harder.

 

_“Val… As much as I wish for that to be… it can’t right now. I… I’ve changed, as I think you have as well and we can’t just slip back into how we used to be.”_

 

Juliana watched her deflate further and shrink over to the other side of the bench.

 

_“I love you and nothing will ever change that but I think we have to get to know each other again.”_

 

Valentina shook her head and grabbed for Juliana’s hand.

 

_“I know exactly who you are Juliana. You are the strongest, kindest, most selfless person I have every met. You put everyone else before yourself, you give up everything inside yourself to make sure others are okay.”_

 

Juliana squeezed her hand gently.

 

_“Valentina…. Por favor.”_

 

Valentina looked at Juliana with tear soaked eyes before pulling her against her in a bone crushing hug.

 

_“I don’t want to go back.”_

 

Juliana breathed her in, nose tucked into her neck for the longest minute before pulling back, wiping the tears off her cheeks with her thumbs.

 

_“It’s not going back. It’s paving a way forward. I’m not saying there is no future. I’m saying we have to learn what that future is by learning who we are both together and apart. I want to show you the person I am now, how knowing you and everything we've been through together has helped me grow. We got thrown into this last time, no warning, no knowledge of ourselves, I don't want that for us this time. I want more than that. I want all the things you get with the process; the dates, the butterflies as I hold your hand, going to dinner at our families house. I want firsts and agains and the forevers, but that starts with the start.”_

 

A wave of relief, if realisation filtered over Valentina as Juliana’s words sunk in. This wasn’t a goodbye or a never, it was a fresh start, a not right now but steps to get there. Juliana was right. They hadn’t had any of those things. They'd started something fuelled by friendship but then by chaos and feelings that burnt life fire and hurt more than they healed. 

 

_“To the start then…”_

 

Valentina held out her hand towards Juliana, a soft smile bringing a bit of life back into her eyes.

 

_“Hi, Valentina Carvajal… it’s nice to meet you.”_

 

Juliana smirked. It was playful and just like the old Valentina but she knew this was her way of showing her that she was in this, and willing to do anything to make it, them work.

 

_“Juliana Valdés… mucho gusto.”_

 

They had then sat on that bench for hours, in silence, in deep conversation, in fits of laughter and now tucked up in her bed, thinking back upon it all Valentina felt a little lighter. She wasn’t filled with a darkening dread of defeat but still felt something nipping away at the edges of her soul. She tried to shake the feeling off as Guille knocked on her door and entered; sitting on the end of her bed near her tucked in feet.

 

_“I wanted to check on you. See if your mood had improved.”_

 

Valentina smirked and pushed at him playfully.

 

_It is getting there… Thank you.”_

 

Guille smiled back at her, holding her hand.

 

_“Por que hermanita.”_

 

It had always struck Valentina how selfless and humble her brother seemed to be; it reminded her of Juliana and maybe that was one of the reasons she was so drawn to her; that reminder of unconditional love, support and selflessness.

 

_“For always being here for me, through everything, my crazy, my moods, everything.”_

 

Guille pulled her against him.

 

_“We have to stick together… even with your moods.”_

 

Valentina laughed and shoved him away again.

 

_“How did it go with Juliana?”_

 

Valentina crossed her legs under the covers and sat up, elbows against her knees. She frowned a little, how did he know she’d seen Juliana. Then it dawned on her. The note.

 

_“She gave you that note in person didn’t she?”_

 

Guille shrugged and looked at her innocently.

 

_“It helped didn’t it… She caught me coming home and asked me to give it to you as you had run off without speaking to her. She wanted a chance to explain and given how things had been with you lately, I thought it would help. You deserve to be happy Valentina and if I can help give you that then I will.”_

 

Valentina nodded, worrying her ip again.

 

_“I am very grateful Guille, but its going to be a long road to get back to how things used to be.”_

 

Guille stood and straightened out his shirt and jacket.

 

_“It may seem like a long road but the journey is everything, all the important things happen then, memories are made, experiences are enjoyed and love is fostered. Enjoy those moments the most Val, they are the ones that make it all worth it and from what I can see, Juliana is worth any journey.”_

* * *

 

Juliana sat on the sofa, one leg tucked underneath her, the other bent, chin resting on her knee. She was half paying attention to the tv, half lost in thought when Lupe entered and sat down beside her.

 

_“You seem lost Mi amor… what’s wrong? Did things with Valentina not go the way you wished?”_

 

Juliana shook her head, looking at her mother.

 

_“No, everything went fine. We talked and are going to work towards getting to know each other again.”_

 

Lupe felt the sigh emanate from Juliana burrow into her soul.

 

_“Isn’t that good? What you wanted? and if so why do you seem like you are about to be swallowed by a deep sadness?”_

 

Juliana looked her in the eyes, a silent communication passing between them. Lupe realising the problem.

 

_“You talked but didn’t tell her everything.”_

 

She hugged her leg tighter, another thundering sigh rippling through her.

 

_“How was I supposed to tell her that the reason we couldn’t just be together right away was because some chick I went on a few dates with thinks we are together and that I’m the love of her life.”_

 

Juliana shifted as Lupe pulled her into her side, kissing her temple.

 

_“Just be careful mi hija. I know you want to protect Valentina but this other girl doesn’t seem to be the type of girl who cares who she hurts to have you.”_

 

Juliana wanted nothing more than to be with Valentina. She had meant every word she’d said, about needing to get to know each other again but for the most part, it was so she could work out a way out of this situation she found herself in.

 

It gnawed at her heart and soul and left a heaviness on her chest, weighing her down.

 

And it fucking sucked. 


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are going well for the newly reunited pair but a surprise guest on their date throws things up in the air. Valentina gets an offer she can't refuse and the only person she wants to tell in her life is Juliana..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so overwhelmed by the love y'all are sending me for this story. I'm kind of struggling right now and writing this story has kept me above water and your comments and kudos and RT on twitter all help me so much. So thank you! I hope you continue to love this story.. even though it has been and probably will continue to be a roller coaster of feels! 
> 
> As always feel free to comment, yell, laugh, and love with me on here and on twitter @theQueerwriter

* * *

 

A few weeks had passed since they had found each other again and Valentina was starting to see the benefits of starting from the start. There had been honest conversations, long walks in the park, movies where they fell asleep in each others arms and dates that could only be described as soul filing adventures. Even as they sat together in a coffee shop, enjoying delectable foods and moan inducing coffee, Valentina couldn't have asked for more.

 

The slight dread she had still felt, had now dissipated and all she felt was blessed. She was getting the chance to fall in love with Juliana all over again; noticing things she hadn't before. It was perfect and heart warming and Valentina felt like nothing could ruin the bubble of bliss she was in.

 

She smiled as she listened to Juliana speak but was pulled from her blissful haze by a hand over hers on the table. She hadn't realised that Juliana had asked her a question and she’d been in her own mind, not hearing it.

 

_“Valentina…”_

 

She shook her head clear and stared into the brown hues before her.

 

_“Where did you go just now?”_

 

Valentina intertwined their fingers and smiled shyly.

 

_“Lo siento… It’s just…”_

 

Juliana’s eyes brightened with curiosity.

 

_“Que?”_

 

Valentina brought their joined hands to her lips and kissed them gently.

 

_“Te amo..”_

 

Juliana smiled but Valentina could see a slight discomfort behind her eyes.

 

_“Val..”_

 

Valentina smiled back at her, laying their hands back on the table.

 

_“I know… I’m sorry. I know aren't there yet but I can’t help how I feel.”_

 

Juliana released Valentina’s hand and leant across the table to cup her cheek.

 

_“Just because we’ve started again doesn't mean I’ve stopping feeling what I feel for you.”_

 

Valentina nodded and leant into Juliana’s palm on her cheek.

 

_“This transition is just a little difficult and I don’t know how to do this.”_

 

Juliana smirked and released Valentina’s cheek.

 

_“You are not alone in this. We will work it out together.”_

 

Valentina smiled, a warmth filling her.

 

_“Now I had asked you how Guille was.”_

 

Valentina took a sip of her coffee and nodded.

 

_“He’s good. Eva is keeping him very busy, keeping an eye on Mateo… and I know he had a hand in drawing us together again. I’m glad you spoke to him.”_

 

Juliana swallowed the bite of toast she had in her mouth, washing it down with her coffee.

 

_“He snitched?”_

 

She laughed and it was the most magical thing Valentina had heard and would give anything to hear that sound forever.

 

_“Technically, I worked it out then he confessed but he definitely took credit.”_

 

Juliana laughed again, the brightness of it hitting her eyes, making Valentina almost fall deeper into them like they were open portals to another world.

 

_“He loves you very much..”_

 

Valentina nodded and sat back in her chair, surveying the scene before her.

 

_“Yes he does, I’m very lucky.”_

 

They sat in silence for a few moments, enjoying each others company, finishing their food and beverages, waving off a waiter wanting to refill their cups, before Juliana was leaning forward, elbows on the table, smiling at Valentina.

 

Valentina also lent forward, almost conspiratorially.

 

_“Que?”_

 

Juliana giggled and tucked a loose strand of Valentina’s hair behind her ear.

 

_So.. I have my showcase coming up, you know the one that says if I can graduate and be a world famous fashion designer…. I was wondering if you'd like to come, if your not busy..”_

 

Valentina licked her lips and pretended to think about the question, tapping her finger against her chin. She smiled back at Juliana who grabbed her hand, both laughing.

 

_“Of course I’ll come.. I promised didn’t I?”_

 

Juliana nodded and thought back to that very promise Valentina had made to her in that dress shop; that she would see Juliana have one just like it.

 

The moment was interrupted by someone walking over to their table. Juliana froze and Valentina bristled on the verge of jealousy; it was the woman she had seen Juliana with in the park.

 

_“Juliana!”_

 

Juliana swallowed hard and forced herself to try and act normal, which became difficult as the woman bent down and pulled her into her chest.

 

_“Isabella, what are you doing here?”_

 

Juliana threw a look of apology over to Valentina, who sat patiently waiting for an explanation.

 

_“We made plans to go over your design for the showcase remember?”_

 

Juliana’s brain ticked over. She didn’t remember making any such plans, let alone here at the same time as her date with Valentina. She nodded at the woman anyway.

 

_“Right… I’m sorry, it slipped my mind.”_

 

Isabella stood with her hand on Juliana’s shoulder, looking between the pair.

 

_“Who is this?”_

 

Valentina smiled and looked at Juliana slightly amused but also trying hard not to say something out of turn.

 

Juliana felt her worlds colliding and the churning in her stomach threatened to bring back up her meal. She cleared her throat and smiled back at her.

 

_“This is my friend Valentina..”_

 

The women sized each other up, eyeing everything about the other. Juliana waited to see the reaction. Valentina stuck out her hand and smiled.

 

_“Nice to meet you.”_

 

Isabella just stood there, leaving Valentina’s hand in mid air.

 

_“Hi.._

 

Valentina retracted her hand and bit her tongue, trying to keep it together.

 

_“Juls… we should get started..”_

 

Juliana watched on as Isabella sat down at their table.

 

_“Valentina I’m so sorry… I”_

 

Valentina shook her head and smiled, beginning to collect her things.

 

_“No, no its okay. I have that meeting with Mateo at the Carvajal group offices anyway.”_

 

Juliana stood as Valentina pushed in her chair ready to leave.

 

_“I’ll call you later okay.”_

 

Valentina smiled and hugged Juliana lightly before leaving, paying their bill as she did so. Juliana watched as she disappeared and sat back down at the table.

 

_“That was the girl from the park the other day… Creepy the way she was staring at us, and the Carvajal group? No doubt she slept her way into that Job!”_

 

A deep rage bubbled within Juliana but she managed to keep a lid on it as Isabella kept talking. She really needed to find a way out of this situation. She hadn’t even meant to get in it. Isabella had seemed nice and they had a lot in common but after two dates, something had changed, a switched had flicked and Juliana found herself in the midst of a drama fest. It wasn't like they'd kissed or anything and Juliana could have sworn she hadn’t led her on. She was preparing to tell her to stay away when Valentina had come back into her life and everything got turned upside down.

 

* * *

 

Valentina slumped against the leather seats in the back of the SUV; their gentle cool a welcome relief after the burning fire she could feel creeping its way across her chest and up her neck.

 

Who did that woman think she was?

 

And why hadn’t Juliana mentioned having another engagement?

 

_“Where to señorita?”_

 

Valentina pulled herself back into the present, looking into the rearview mirror to answer.

 

_“The office por favor.”_

 

She saw him nod and she felt the car take off she relaxed against the door and watched the world go by, thinking about Juliana. The way their hands felt joined together, how easy the conversation had been, how Juliana still wanted her to be apart of the dream. It had been a perfect date.. until Isabella had shown up. Valentina knew she didn’t have any right to question how Juliana knew her but something about her put Valentina off, and by the look Juliana had given her, there was definitely more to that story than she knew. Despite that awkwardness, Valentina felt a warmth in her chest and a flutter in her stomach just like she had when they had first met.

 

She was rocked gently back to the present by the car coming to a stop. The door opened and she was helped out of the car and escorted into the building. As always, Mateo's waiting for her in the lobby to greet her. She smiled brightly and pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly.

 

_“Hola Mateo..”_

 

He released her form his arms and smiled warmly back at her.

 

_“Valentina, Its good to see you.”_

 

They began walking towards the elevator to ascend to the offices above the broadcasting studios. As they stepped onto it and the doors close, Valentina felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Fishing it out, reading the screen, a text message from Juliana greeted her.

 

_“Hey I’m sorry about our date! Call me after you meeting with Mateo so we can talk. x”_

 

The brightest smile graced her lips and Mateo seemed to notice a shift in energy in the space between them.

 

_“A smile like that, could only mean Juliana is back on the scene.”_

 

She tried to hide her growing smile but felt like she would burst trying.

 

_“It is true that Juliana is back in my life but… we aren't together, together.”_

 

Mateo frowned as they stepped off the elevator into the sprawling office before them.

 

_“Why not? You’re in love no?”_

 

She had said it that morning to Juliana and it rang true but she knew it was for the best that they were taking things slow.

 

_“Si, but Juliana wants to get to know each other again. We’ve both been through so much and have been out of each others lives for a long time; we’ve grown.”_

 

Mateo didn’t know much about Juliana but knew enough to know that she was made for Valentina; she completed a part of her that nothing else seemed to be able to.

 

_“Life is too short to worry about such things. It seems foolish to waste any more time being apart.”_

 

Valentina took the bottle of water he was handing her and sat across from him on the twin sofas in his office. It struck a a sour note that someone like Mateo had landed in her sister, Eva’s orbit. He was kind, compassionate and wise beyond reasonable measure for someone his age.

 

_“I had made the same argument but I have come to realise that starting at the start has its benefits and if history is anything to go by, you know I am willing to do anything for her.”_

 

He nodded. Yes he knew that Valentina would give up everything and almost did, for Juliana. He made a mental note to get to know the girl better. Valentina had grown so much over the past year and it gave Mateo great joy to see her take her life in her own hands and get the happiness she deserves. He smiled warmly at her.

 

_“Your papa would be so proud of you. You are growing into a fine young woman. he would also be proud of the world you are doing here, Your ideas and creativeness have helped to increase viewership and numbers and as good as that is, I can’t help but feel that you'd be better at the front of it all.”_

 

Valentina almost spat the water in her mouth all over the table in front of them.

 

_“Que..? No.. I”_

 

Mateo chuckled and raised his hands to calm her.

 

_“Okay hear me out. You are young and full of fire and have so much creative energy and we need that representing us. We want you to go to events, galas, be a spokesperson of sorts, to gauge more interest and find new projects for us to get behind; we want to begin a wave of change and everyone here things you are the one to help us do that. And you, don’t have to answer right away, take your time.”_

 

Valentina was a little shocked. She had never thought that the business her father had started would even consider trying to change to fit the times and more so that people would consider her the person to help do that. She also felt a little excited about it all. This could be the exact thing she needed to really make her feel like she was making a difference and making her family proud.

 

_“Okay. I will think about it. I am honoured that you would consider me to do this.”_

 

As Valentina got into the waiting car over an hour later, she felt better than she had in months, and there was only one person she wanted to talk to about it.

 

_“Can you take me to the Valdés residence por favor?”_

 

The driver nodded and closed the door after she had gotten in.

 

_“Si, Senorita.”_

 

Valentina knew it was “against the rules” but wasn't being spontaneous apart of dating? She felt her insides melt and her chest burn with a fire that warmed her soul at the thought of surprising Juliana, “against the rules” or not.

* * *

 

Juliana was surprised by the knock on her door. Not so much by the fact someone was knocking but more so that she had been mid day dream and the sound had pulled her back to reality. She sighed as she peeled herself off of the sofa, having planted herself there after finally breaking free from Isabella’s presence, and walked to the door.

 

She pulled open the door and a frown almost crept across her forehead, until a smirk chased it away. Much like in her day dream there stood Valentina at her door, all smiles and beauty and perfection. Juliana felt that all too familiar pull low in the pit of her stomach. It had become more and more apparent, every time she saw Valentina and if she was honest, it had never really gone away for all those months they’d been apart.

 

_“Sorpresa!”_

 

The joy, excitement and pure love radiated off Valentina; she was buzzing like a little kid in a candy store and it was infectious. A smile spread across Juliana’s face in agreement.

 

_“Now I know we are supposed to make plans and stuff before I show up but I…”_

 

Valentina didn’t get to finish her words as she was pulled into Juliana’s apartment and pushed up against the wall inside and neither woman noticed the figure watching their interaction from a little ways down the street, and as the door closed behind them nothing else mattered. But it would before too long.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems like Valentina and Juliana are making progress.. until they aren't and Valentina finds herself at what she feels like is the butt of a very cruel joke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Thanks for all the love. Its been amazing hearing all your thoughts on this story.
> 
> This chap has a bit of everything; another rollercoaster ride with a final destination life twist (not literally but metaphorically)..
> 
> As always, all mistake are my own, I'm human (mostly).. feel free to yell, love, laugh and what not with me here or on twitter @theQueerwriter

* * *

 

Valentina’s breath caught in her throat as Juliana pulled her into the apartment, her body pressed into hers against the wall. Her head was spinning as Juliana’s thigh nestled itself between her legs, finger tips gripping her hips, lips barely a breath away from her own.

 

Her heart thumped hard in her chest; nerves, excitement and pleasure, all causing it to beat haphazardly. She dared not move, dared not bring her hands away from the wall to touch Juliana for fear it would startle her and she would disappear like a mirage before her eyes. She felt Juliana’s deep breaths resonate through her own as her lips brushed by.

 

As if an invisible force was between them, Valentina couldn't help but follow Juliana’s lips, in search of contact. She knew it was stupid and at any moment Juliana would come to her senses and they'd be right back where they were this morning. With everything else, Valentina was mentally berating herself, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, she should have stuck to their ground rules but all of those thoughts disappeared completely as Juliana’s lips were pressed against her own, soft and perfect and wanting. A spark of electricity went through her, jump starting her body.

 

Hands. **_Gripping_**

 

Lips. **_Tasting_**

 

Bodies. **_Melding into one_**

 

It was rushed and heavy and brutal in the way that it had been everything they'd both wanted since coming back into each others lives; breathing each other in. Valentina felt the tug of fingers at the opening of her jacket and felt the would begin to spin out of control, the heat between them and the one building in the pit of her stomach overwhelming her.

 

She wanted nothing more than for Juliana to continue but a voice in her head screamed respect and Valentina knew they needed to take a minute and if after than minute they still felt that fire and uncontrollable pull towards each other then she would let Juliana do whatever she wanted. She gently pushed Juliana away from her, their lips parting and breath being sucked into screaming lungs.

 

_“Hmm. Wait.. wait hold on.”_

 

She licked her swollen lips and help firm to Juliana’s hips; she didnt want her to feel rejected. She watched as she opened her eyes and blew a heavy breath through her lips. Valentina was terrified about what she had just down, it sent a dark dread into her stomach, worry flashing behind her eyes.

 

Then….

 

Juliana laughed and rested their foreheads together, one hand on Valentina’s hip, the other grazing her kiss swollen lips. Valentina let out a breath and put her arms around Juliana’s shoulders.

 

_“Sorpresa…”_

 

After peeling themselves off the wall, they now sat on the sofa; Valentina’s back nestled into Juliana’s chest, Juliana’s fingers dancing up and down Valentina’s bare arms, jacket having been discarded chins on her shoulder, breathing her in.

 

_“You always smell so good..”_

 

Juliana shifted and pulled Valentina closer to her, hands intertwining over her waist. Valentina smiled, a contented sigh breezing out of her.

 

_“I wasn’t sure about coming over unannounced but after talking with Mateo, all I wanted to do was see you and tell you all the things that are coming up.”_

 

A delicate silence enveloped them until Valentina shifted slightly to look at Juliana.

 

_“I miss you… like all of the time. When your not with me… I miss you.”_

 

Juliana looked deep into Valentina’s ocean eyes, floating in them like she weighed nothing. She saw truth and love a a little sadness there. She placed a gentle kiss to her lips and relished in the way Valentina tucked her head into her neck; much like she had done upon asking her to stay after their first time together.

 

_“I know…. I feel it too.”_

 

Juliana hugged her tighter. She had missed this, had missed feeling whole…. had missed Valentina.

 

_“So what has Mateo got you all excited about?”_

 

Valentina shifted, sitting up and turning around to face Juliana, still nestled between her legs.

 

_“okay, so you know I’ve been working at my fathers Media company, mainly just small stuff but today, Mateo asked me if I wanted to be a spokesperson, a face for the Carvajal group. He said that the board feels I could help bring the company into today’s world.”_

 

Juliana listened intently as Valentina spoke, feeling the passion and excitement in every word.

 

_“Val! Thats amazing. You'd be great for that role.”_

 

Valentina’s smile beamed like the rays of sunlight outside.

 

_“You think so? It would mean that I would have to attend Gala’s and fundraisers and be more in the public eye.”_

 

Juliana sensed the slightest hint of worry and concern in her voice.

 

_“You don’t want to do it, those things?”_

 

Valentina chewed her bottom lip and fiddled with Juliana’s fingertips, tracing them with her own.

 

_“I do… it’s just I’d be in the public eye more, photographed even when not at events, and people will follow me and I don’t want that to affect… this..”_

 

Valentina didn’t know what they were right now but she wanted to preserve any chance they had.

 

Realisation dawned on Juliana. Val was apprehensive because she didn’t want to do anything that would affect them being together. Juliana lent forward and cupped Valentina’s face with a smile.

 

_“Valentina Carvajal, I have always known who you are and who you are supposed to be. You are meant to be out there changing the world, succeeding where others before you have failed, you are meant to do this and you should let nothing stop you… and for what its worth I think I could handle myself in all of those situations, if you wanted me around for them…”_

 

Valentina smirked and cupped her hands over Juliana’s own on her cheeks.

 

_“Of course I want you around. I want you around for everything but I also know that your a private person and sometimes this study can get invasive and I….”_

 

Juliana placed her thumb against Valentina’s lips to silence her.

 

_“With any luck I’m about to be a fashion designer, a good one if I’m lucky. I can learn to deal with everything because I know you’ll be there doing everything you can to protect me from the worst of it. I really hope you can see how perfect you are for this, and I’m not going to let you pass it up because of me.”_

 

Valentina pulled Juliana into her chest, hugging her hard. She wasn't sure where they stood at that moment but she could see that Juliana was planning towards a future where they were together properly again and that was enough for now.

 

_“Gracias.”_

 

Juliana shook her head and pulled back slightly to look at Valentina.

 

_“No need… You are going to be great.”_

 

Valentina nodded and smiled brightly; a joy overwhelming her every sense.

 

_“So will you… I can’t believe I get to see your designs on an actual runway in a few days. I am so proud of you.”_

 

Valentina watched as a pink hue spread across Juliana’s neck, up into her cheeks. It often struck her that someone so strong, and brave and resilient could be so shy and reserved when it came to people complimenting and supporting her.

 

_“I mean it. I’m only sorry I wasn't there for the whole process.”_

 

Juliana smiled and shook her head, leaning into Valentina kissing her gently.

 

_“You’re here now.”_

 

Valentina smiled into the kiss and hummed at the contact.

 

_“I’ll be here for as long as you will have me.”_

 

* * *

 

Juliana was nervous.

 

This was it.

 

She’d fast tracked her study, joining the students graduating that year.

 

The room was a buzz with people, educators, students, industry execs and even a little but of media. She’d picked each model carefully for each piece, she’d entrusted lighting and sound cues and done a test run with each of the models. 

 

By all accounts she was ready.

 

She blew a heavy, centring breath through her pursed lips, smiling as Valentina approached her.

Her breath caught in her throat at the sight before her. Valentina always looked amazing but the form fitting black and white dress that covered her body made her a masterpiece.

_“Wow… you look beautiful.”_

 

Valentina smiled and placed a gentle kiss to Juliana’s cheek.

 

_“Thank you… I just came by to say hello and to tell you not to worry because you are going to crush it. Everyone will be blown away.”_

 

Juliana gripped Valentina’s hands in her own, smiling brightly.

 

_“Gracias… I have a seat reserved for you in the front row, as all VIPs should have. I was also thinking that maybe after the show, you'd let me take you out to dinner?”_

 

Valentina sucked on her bottom lip, a happy warmth spreading through her. She nodded almost furiously.

 

_“I would really like that… I also have a sorpresa for you after the show.”_

 

Juliana frowned slightly, confused but it softened as Valentina kissed her forehead.

 

_“I’d wish you good luck but you don’t need it. So I’ll just say enjoy this moment.”_

 

Juliana nodded and watched Valentina disappear to find her seat before turning around herself to do last touches, just as the MC began his introductions.

 

Valentina sat front and centre at the end of the runway. She was surrounded by some people she didnt know but others that she did. Camera’s flashed around her, some taking pictures of her and others of the runway as the first of the models came down. 

 

Design after design, Valentina was floored. She knew Juliana had talent and ideas but seeing them come to fruition was something else. It filled her heart and soul with a pure unbridled love, respect and desire and as Juliana herself stepped out onto the runway, Valentina almost forgot how to breathe and had to force air into her lungs.

 

Juliana looked directly at her and she could feel those brown hues melt into her. She was wearing a black suit, with white pinstripes, the jacket covering bare skin beneath it, the curve of her breasts holding it in place perfectly and a matching hat, like the ones she’d seen in old gangster movies. It was a look and if they were in private Valentina would have had a hard time controlling herself. 

 

As she got to the end of the runway, she stopped and let the photographers take all the pictures they wanted; her eyes firmly on Valentina like she was the only thing in the room. The music died down and an aid handed Juliana a microphone. The crowd clapped uproariously and waited for Juliana to speak.

 

_“Firstly, I’d like to thank all of you here tonight. This journey has been one of ups and downs, trial, tribulations and triumphs. The designs you've seen tonight, have come from within me and I can only hope that each has sparked something within you too. If i’m honest, there is someone here tonight, who without their support and encouragement from the start, this wouldnt even be a reality. Valentina Carvajal, I can not thank you enough for seeing the potential, passion and ability in me before I even realised it in myself.”_

 

The crowd applauded and cameras flashed at her and Valentina blew a kiss to Juliana on the stage, who beamed back at her.

 

_“A lot goes into putting a showcase like this together, so I’d also like to thank each of my fellow graduating students for their time, support and superb efforts in helping me bring this together, in particular I’d like to call Isabella Diaz to the stage to take the final bow with me; you helped me so much on this showcase.”_

 

Valentina watched as Isabella got up on stage and stood beside Juliana, holding her hand as they bowed together to a massive applause. She bristled with jealousy which turned into devastation, and soul crushing heartache as she watched them both stand back up and Isabella turn to Juliana and kiss her deeply. She waited for Juliana to push her away, for some sort of indication that it wasn't wanted but neither came. The crowd in the room whooped and wolf whistled and stood to applaud, all accept one person who stood and slipped out of the crowd, into the night air. 

 

Her chest felt tight and as much as she tried she couldn't seem to suck in enough air to fill her lungs fully; the image of Isabella kissing Juliana seemingly playing in her mind, on a loop; no doubt a punishment for everything bad she’d every done in her life. 

 

She stumbled a little as she reach the door of her waiting car, the driver helping her into the back seat. 

 

_“Estas bien señorita?”_

 

Valentina waved him off, nodding.

 

_“Yes, please just take me home.”_

 

Valentina’s chest wracked with a heavy sob and she broke down as the car pulled away, beginning its journey back to the Carvajal compound. 

 

The world was full of injustices but in Valentina’s mind, she should have known that history was doomed to repeat itself, and trying the same thing over and over again, expecting different results was the very definition of insanity. 

 

And it fucking sucked.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the showcase craziness... Its all about Valentina and Juliana being honest with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken a little longer to get to you but life and what not has knocked me about this week.. so heres a slightly longer chapter than I've don't previously. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> As always feel free to yell, like, comment and feel the love with me here or on twitter @meltheQueerwriter

* * *

 

 Juliana froze.

 

Everything was moving in slow motion yet fast all at the same time. She hadn't fully registered what was happening, until the crowd had begun to yell and cheer and applaud even harder than before.

 

Her heart began to beat hard in her chest, its bid to escape its fleshy cage. Isabella’s lips felt all kinds of wrong on her own and she wanted nothing more than to push her away but the silent commands she was sending to her body weren't being heard. She felt a rising tide of panic bubbling up within her.

 

She had pretty much just been outed; on display for everyone to see. This wasn't how she wanted to do this, and definitely not with Isabella; she was meant to, or planned to come out with Valentina by her side. 

 

Shit!

 

Valentina. She had a front row seat to Isabella locking lips with her, in front of everyone. The world was spinning and she was spiralling out of control.

 

It seemed like a life time but after mere second the kiss was over and all Juliana could so in that moment was turn back to the crowd, wave and bid them farewell. Her heart shattered as she scanned the room in search of Valentina but found only her empty seat and photography flashes clouding her vision.

 

She waved once more then practically dragged Isabella back down the runway and into backstage. Once they were out of view from everyone Juliana dropped Isabella’s hand, retching away from her.

 

She was fucking furious.

 

_“What the hell was that?”_

 

Isabella stepped up to Juliana but was met with strong hands stopping her advance.

 

_“This is a good thing! Now you don’t have to hide anymore and that girl won’t bother you again cause she knows you're with someone.”_

 

Juliana bristled with anger and if she had a violent streak in her, she would have used it right then. She stared down Isabella, searching her eyes for an explanation but found only a jittery delusion, an almost cold psychopathy.

 

_“Now we don't have to keep our distance from each other. Everyone knows we are together.”_

 

The words fell on Juliana’s ears like off key notes played on a piano. now she knew Isabella was nuts and before she knew it she felt a laugh bubbling up through her chest, her lips parting to release it. She would never laugh in the face of someone’s feelings but this was beyond a joke and it had gone too far.

 

_“You actually believe that don’t you?”_

 

Isabella folded her arms across her chest; a defiance printed on her face.

 

_“Because its true. I’ve been here with you every step of this journey; we've connected. We understand each other. She left you by yourself, didn’t want you anymore. I fixed your heart after she broke it. She doesn't care about you, can’t you see that?_

 

Juliana felt like she was stuck in a telenovela, hearing an impassioned plea from the psycho that ends up destroying everything with their delusions. And how did she all of a sudden know all about Valentina and what had happened between them? Actually she didn’t care, all she wanted was for Isabella to get it through her head that there was never anything between them.

 

_“You need to hear me when I say this because I’m only going to say it once. We were never anything and we will never be anything. You did not fix me and this fantasy you've concocted in your head is just that, a fantasy. Stay away from me and stay away from Valentina. If you come near me or her again, things will become very difficult for you.”_

 

With that Juliana turned and strode away, not wanting to waste another moment on her, not when she had to find Valentina and explain, to beg her to forgive her, to know that it meant nothing.

 

Her chest hurt and her stomach was a tide of rough, crashing waves. She was trying to process what had happened and how she was going to deal with impending questions she was going to receive about her sexuality. Valentina had been right about being a private person and she hadn't ever thought that this was how she was going to do any of this. She felt exposed and vulnerable and nervous about what was next.

 

She pushed all of that to the side as she hopped into a taxi that had been waiting just outside. She gave the driver the address, noting the slightest frown on his face, the look of was it disgust? evident in his features, like he was judging her as well.

 

The drive seemed to take forever, making Juliana’s anxiety about this whole thing that much worse. When they arrived she asked the driver to wait a few moments while she tried to speak to Valentina. She approached the guard house and was met by Fabricio, they'd done this dance once before but she hoped the outcome of this exchange would be different. 

 

_“Señorita Juliana..”_

 

She smiled as warmly as she could, stepping up to him. 

 

_“Hola, I need to see Valentina.”_

 

Before the words had finished coming out of her mouth, he was shaking his head.

 

_“Lo siento, but señorita Valentina isn’t here and I do not know when she will return. I can make a note that you stopped by for her when she returns.”_

 

Juliana’s heart clenched painfully in her chest, bringing tears to her eyes, her breaths becoming short and sharp, not filling her lungs.

 

_“Por favor… I really need to speak with her….”_

 

Fabricio’s look softened a little, trying to calm her down.

 

_“Valentina isn’t here and while you are on the list, I can not permit you to enter when the purpose for your visit isn't here. All I can do is take note and inform her of your visit when she returns. I really am sorry but you’ll have to leave.”_

 

Juliana worried her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded as tears flooded her eyes, she understood, she did but if Valentina wasn’t here then where could she be. She turned and walked back to the waiting taxi, pulling out her phone as she got in, dealing Valentina. She listened to it ring out then go to voicemail. Juliana sighed, she didn’t want to do this over voicemail but she had to start somewhere.

 

_“Val, por favor… I know what this looks like but you have to let me explain. I didn’t want this. I want you. We need to talk. I went to your house but you weren't there. I don’t want to do this over the phone. I need to see you . I know you’re hurting and that’s on me, just let me know where you are so we can meet. Lo siento…”_

 

Tears flooded her eyes harder as she ended the message and hung up the phone. Just when she thought she was getting everything together, it all begins to fall apart. She had never wanted anything in her life as much as she wanted Valentina. it was like a need to breathe, the blood in her veins, keeping her alive and now it was hard to breathe and her blood refused to pump.

 

She picked up her phone from the seat beside her and began to craft a message to the only other person she knew Val would seek solace in; Guille.

 

_“Guille, do you know where Valentina is? Something happened and I need to see her, to explain, por favor, I cant lose her again.”_

 

Several long minutes passed without a reply and Juliana had begun to think that this was it, that she’d destroyed and lost the most important person in her life. She hadn't admitted it to herself but Val was the love of her life; destinies brought them together before and again but now everything felt like marbles on a glass table, sliding about and she couldn't seem to grab them all.

 

Until her phone buzzed and her heart almost stopped. A text from Guille flashed on its screen.

 

_“She is at the Valle house. I’m only telling you this because I believe you and Valentina are meant to be together. She’s whole with you, she's better with you in her life. What you two have is something i’ve never seen and I want that to be true for you both. Please don’t give up on her or yourself. Fight for each other, even if its just you swinging the sword at the start.”_

 

Juliana instructed the driver of her new destination and made a mental note to text Guille back later; for now she was preparing to do as he had told her, she was preparing to fight.

* * *

 

 

 

Valentina paced back and forth across the room, bottle of Mezcal in one hand, the other wiping tears off her cheeks. She had originally planned to go home but found herself dropped off at this house instead. 

 

She took a large swig from the bottle, relishing in the way it burnt her throat as it went down, lighting her chest with a fiery warmth. She was both confused and hurt and angry; how could she be in this position again. It was a repeat of all those months ago with Sergio but this time it was worse as she had thought she knew where they both stood with each other. Worse still was that everyone had been there to see it; she felt humiliated.

 

She stopped pacing and sat down heavily on the step leading further into the house, swigging more of the clear liquid as she did so. She was startled slightly as her phone vibrated across the wood floor beside her.

 

She glanced at its scree and closed her eyes as a new flood of tears came over her. Juliana’s name flashed on its screen, mocking her further. She let it ring, not knowing if she could answer the phone or even if she wanted to.

 

It rang out, leaving only a notification of the call and then another for the voicemail left behind. Valentina wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and picked up the phone, coming face to face with her background image; it was a recent photo of them, from a trip that took. Juliana stood in front of Valentina both arms raised above her, pointing to the sky, with Valentina’s lips on her cheek and arms around her waist.

 

A smile flicked the corner of her mouth at the memory; it was barely there, an involuntary action given how she felt right now. Putting the phone to her ear, she listened to the voicemail. She bit her lip as it came to an end, she let the phone clatter to the floor beside her as she grabbed the bottle and took a swig before laying back against the cold floor boards. Her head was swimming and not just from the amount of mezcal she had drunken already; the silence in the house only adding to the swimming feeling she felt.

 

The silence was broken by her phone vibrating on the floor again. She groaned and almost hurled it across the room but stopped when she noticed that it was Guille calling, she sighed and answered.

 

_“Hey…”_

 

_“Val, are you still at the house?”_

 

Valentina sat up slowly, careful not to make herself dizzy.

 

_“Sí, something happened and I needed to be alone.”_

 

A sigh permeated the phone.

 

_“I know, Juliana messaged me asking where you were.”_

 

Valentina frowned, even though no one was there to see it.

 

_“Did you tell her? Why would you do that Guille… I…”_

 

She stopped talking at his insistence.

 

_“I told her because she deserves the chance to explain whatever happened. It’s what adults do… And you deserve to know what this means for the both of you. I love you with all my heart hermanita and don’t want to see you give up on something that is once in a life time. You are made for each other, destined to be… Por Favor, Val just hear her out… fight for this… fight to be happy.”_

 

Silent tears slipped down her face as she hung up without another word. She was really starting to hate how right Guille had become all the time and she did want to know what the hell was going on; Juliana was on her way and all she could do was take her brother’s seemingly sage, love filled advice.

 

She had no clue what she was going to say and if she was honest that was probably for the best, maybe then her anger and hurt wouldnt bubble up and make her say things she’d come to regret and she’d actually hear Juliana out. It didn’t mean she wasn’t hurt and confused, because she was, more than she ever thought possible. She just wanted things to be easy but the things in life most worth doing were never easy.

 

She scoffed at herself and took another large drink form the bottle beside her; She sounded like a walking bumper sticker, a cliche. By the time the soft knock rattled the front door, half the mezcal was gone form the bottle and Valentina was decidedly more anxious about seeing Juliana than before. She’d hoped that it would have numbed what she was feeling but it had the opposite and now she was questioning everything she knew. Maybe all of this was her fault? Maybe she was the one who wasn’t good enough and Isabella could make Juliana happier than she ever could. She jumped slightly as the knock came again. Swallowing hard, she rose form her position on the floor and opened the door.

 

Juliana stood there eyes rimmed red, still wearing her runway outfit, hair slightly a mess, hands wringing in front of her. She looked up at Valentina who just turned and trudged away from the now open door. Juliana followed her inside, closing the door behind her, watching on as Valentina lent down and scooped up the half empty bottle form the step, heading into the living room as she walked by.

 

Juliana’s heart was heavy seeing Valentina like this again. She’d hoped that she wouldn’t have to witness Valentina’s so hurt ever again but here she was and she was the cause. Silence hung  in the air, save for the liquid in the bottle sloshing around as Valentina drank from it. She dared not take the bottle from her this time. She didn’t have the right, not when the pain was hers.

 

Valentina slid down the wall by the large window at the back of the living, knees tucked into her chest, arms holding herself together. Juliana walker over to her and sat against the wall opposite her; the distance between them enough to allow for personal space but also close enough if Valentina decided she needed or wanted to be closer without much effort. 

 

Juliana just sat and watched as Valentina stared out the window onto the darkness of the night beyond it, silent tears tracking down her cheeks. She wanted nothing more than to wipe those tears away, to pull Valentina into her arms and never let go but once again it wasn't her place, not yet, not until she had explained everything. She sucked in a deep breath. 

 

This was it. Probably the last chance she’d ever have to make things right with Valentina. It felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff and the only thing she could do was jump. So she did.

 

_“I didn’t think I’d be here to fall in love. I didn’t think I’d make it to find anything that remotely felt like home. But I did. I fought long hard, I survived to be here… to find you. None of this has ever been easy. It’s been a roller coaster from day one but I wouldnt change anything, except not telling you everything when we came back into each others lives. I don’t know how to do any of this. My only view of relationships and love had been my mom and el chino and that didn’t end well. I’m sorry I didn't trust you enough to tell you the truth. I’d say I was trying to protect you but I know thats an excuse and I was trying to protect myself from the stupid position I had placed myself in.”_

 

Valentina looked away from the window and over to Juliana.

 

_“I thought we were coming back together, finding each other again. You wanna talk about not making it and finding love… My mother died, then my father… my view of love has always had missing pieces. I didn’t believe in it. Then you sat next to me on that bench and you cared. You made it so I had hope and then I fell in love with you and it hurt, because everything told me that it couldn't be, so I pushed it away. Then I found you again and felling love with everything you are. I trusted. I didn’t protect myself, I let my heart beat freely and yet here we are again, in pain, confused and unable to just tell each other the truth.”_

 

Juliana felt everything begin to crack and crumbling come crashing down around her. The pieces she’d built herself out of coming unstuck with every word Valentina spoke. This was going to be harder than she thought and quite rightly too.

 

_“We are coming back together. We found each other again.”_

 

Valentina eyed her intently, hand firmly gripping the bottle of mezcal beside her.

 

_“Really because what I saw tonight, it looks like you found someone else and have been too selfish to admit you don't want to be in this with me anymore.”_

 

Juliana shook her head vigorously.

 

_“No Val, I… I didn’t want that. She isn't what I want. Yes, while we were out of each others lives, I did go on a few dates with her but that is as far as it went, she didn’t understand that and has concocted this fantasy in which her and I are together. That day you saw us in the park I was trying to tell her that we were never going to be anymore than friends but, seeing you I just…”_

 

Valentina frowned and put the bottle down loudly beside her.

 

_“You didn’t push her away when she kissed you!”_

 

There it was Juliana thought. The dreaded question of why.

 

_“I wasn’t expecting her to kiss me Val. What did you want me to do? She practically outed me in front of all those people, my classmates and the media that was there. I was shocked and confused and didn’t want anything to overshadow the showcase. And in hindsight none of that matters because I know that wasn't how I wanted things to go.”_

 

She watched as Val returned her gaze out the window.

 

_“Val, mirame… I need you to hear me when I say that I didn’t want her to kiss me and that the only person I’d ever want to be “outed” with if it had to happen, would be you. The kiss didn’t mean anything for me. Lo juro.”_

 

Juliana rose from her seated position and shuffled over to Valentina and crouched down in front of her.

 

_“I can understand if you want time or space or both but I needed to explain, to say I’m sorry. But I love you and this is me fighting and I will continue to for as long as it takes, even if I’m the only one swinging the sword at the start. I am in this. De verdad.”_

 

With that Juliana stood up sensing there wasn’t much more she should or could say. She sighed softly as Valentina continued to gaze out the window but was surprised when as she made to leave Valentina grabbed her hand tightly. Juliana stood there motionless for several moments, giving Valentina the time she needed to properly gather her thoughts.

 

_“We need to be clear and honest with each other Juliana. Trust that we can work through things together, that we can deal with problems and difficult situations together.”_

 

Azul eyes looked up at her, pleading for trust and love and hope and all things Juliana could ever begin to give her. A gentle tug on her hand had Juliana sitting back on the floor in her suit. Valentina held her gaze for the longest time, hand still firmly grasped in her own.

 

_“How did we get here again? How did we let someone divide us again?”_

 

Juliana worried her lip between her teeth and closed her eyes.

 

_“It’s my fault, Isabella is in our lives because of me.”_

 

Valentina sighed and grabbed Juliana’s other hand.

 

_“Who is she?”_

 

Juliana blew a heavy breath out of pursed lips and opened her eyes into Val’s blue ones.

 

_“She’s nobody, a girl I met in class. I didn’t know anyone when I started and most of the other students resented me for being able to join the second year without doing the first. She was nice and kind and didn’t hold my ability against me. I hadn’t seen or heard from you in months and I guess I wanted to see what dating was like. We went out twice, nothing ever happened. I wasn't at that point and I didn’t know if i would ever be. I was still caught up in you and didn’t want to let that go just yet.”_

 

Valentina listened, the weight burdening her heart and mind beginning to lift.

 

_“Then why did she kiss you?”_

 

Juliana skated her thumb over the back of Valentina’s hand, the motion calming her.

 

_“I should have seen the signs. I knew she might have feelings for me but I didn’t distance myself. I should have put a stop to things before they got this far but you came back into my life and she got all crazy, saying things about you and how she saved me, picked me up, fixed me and that I wouldnt have to worry about you because I was with her.. After the showcase I made sure she knew where we stood. I told her that if she came near me or you again, it wouldn’t end well for her. I should have told her a long time ago. I’m sorry for not telling you. I’ve never been in this situation before and I didnt want her to do anything to you, to affect you, if that makes sense. I didn’t want you tainted by her crazy.”_

 

Valentina fiddled with the lapel of the jacket Juliana was wearing, which she was very aware was hiding only are skin beneath it.

 

_‘Now we are both tainted by her crazy. This is going to make it hard for us now.”_

 

Juliana frowned and lifted Valentina’s chin to look her in the eyes.

 

_“What do you mean?”_

 

Valentina licked her lips  and blew a shaky breath through them.

 

_“You know I said I had a surprise for you tonight? Well it is going to print tomorrow. I had Mateo organise a write up about you and the show. Its running in the arts and fashion section of the paper tomorrow. And the writer would be stupid if they didn’t include something as bold as a kiss between the designer and another woman.”_

 

Juliana’s heart sank, the realisation of what Valentina was saying hitting her squarely in the chest. How could they move forward now? What did this mean for them and how was this going to play out with Isabella’s delusion of them being a couple.

 

_‘Is there any way to stop it?”_

 

Valentina shook her head. As much as she wished she could, that wasn’t the power she held anymore.

 

_“I can’t ask Mateo to compromise the publication or the writer by pulling an article. It wouldnt be fair, not after asking him to publish it in the first place.”_

 

Juliana nodded and sighed. She knew Valentina didn’t want to use her position for favors. She wanted people to see her differently.

 

_“No. I get it. Mateo has done more than enough for me in the past. I’m so sorry Val. I really am. How do we handle this? What do you want me to do?”_

 

She grabbed Valentina’s hands in both of hers.

 

_I can’t tell you that Juliana. This affects you. Things are about to get crazy and this is something you’ll have to figure out.”_

 

Juliana shook her head and shuffled closer, knees resting almost on Valentina’s.

 

_“This affects you too Val. How this plays out will determine a lot of things for us. I will sat it again so you know I’m clear, I want you… to be with you. I know I put us in this position but I want to make it through it together; so any decision I make does affect you and you’re right it is going to make it hard but I am in love with you and from what I know, love isn't meant to be easy; if it was then it wouldn’t be real.”_

 

Before the last words had really left her lips, Juliana found herself being kissed. Soft, wanting lips melding with her own. It took a moment to realise what was happening but as soon as she did, she found herself kissing back, hands pulling both of them to their feet; Valentina’s back resting against the wall, hands gripping the lapels of Juliana’s jacket.

 

It was frenzied and heavy and bruising but neither of them cared as they poured themselves into the soul of the other. It felt stronger than a few days earlier at Juliana’s apartment. The urgency driven by the necessity to show their truths, to feel like this wasn’t going to brea them, not again.

 

Juliana’s lungs burned with a sweet oxygen needing fire as she broke their kiss and rested her forehead against Valentina’s. Valentina held her eyes shut tightly, much like her grip on Juliana’s jacket. Juliana’s breath ghosted across her upper lip as her lips flitted across her own, a gentle thumb following it.

 

_“Val, Mirame.”_

 

It was soft and delicate. No command in it what so ever; a want rather than a need.

 

Valentina licked her lips and let her eyes flutter open into the brown hues of Juliana’s. Their breaths in sync with each others, just like they had been at the start. Valentina saw the worry, the hurt, the love, the all consuming fear that she would lose her again. She cupped her cheeks in the palms of her hands, fingers grazing through Juliana’s soft hair. There was so much they had to work out, so much to navigate and rebuild but right in that moment nothing else existed, nothing but two souls intertwined beyond measure trying to exist in a world of fretful and disaster; two souls breathing for each other, the rest… was just noise. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is guys. Thanks for continuing to read. This is a nice chapter to get you through whats coming. Note: there is a lot more Spanish in this chapter. I hope most of it translates right as I am not a Spanish native speaker/writer (but have found a new love/ respect for the language since learned it at university) If something is wrong please feel free to let me know so I have a better understanding of it. All the respect! 
> 
> NOTE: if you’ve already read this chap and have come back for more, I’ve have updated some of my translations as a kind guest messaged me and let me know of some issues. I really do appreciate being more informed and want to make sure I get it as right as possible! So thanks GUEST for the help! :) 
> 
> As always please feel free to love, laugh, hate, cry and support these amazing characters with me on here or on twitter @theQueerwriter.
> 
> Let me know what you think!

* * *

 

Juliana woke with a start. She jolted but settled quickly, praying she hadn't disturbed Valentina from her peaceful sleep. The room was bathed in a soft glow of early morning light, filtering through the sky light at the entrance to the ensuite. Juliana shifted carefully onto her side, clutching the soft blankets to her bare chest, smile ghosting her lips as memories of the previous evening graced her mind.

 

Clothes had been discarded haphazardly along their journey from the living room to the master bedroom. Juliana had felt the heat blossom in the pit go her stomach as Valentina had pressed her against the wall in the hallway, lips drifting from her own, down her neck, over the swell of her breasts. It had been other worldly when Valentina’s eyes had caught her own as she knelt down before her, delicate fingers hooked into the waistband of her pants; seeking consent to continue, to make sure they were still on the same page. Juliana would have nodded and given in to whatever Valentina wanted to do to her but not like that, not in the hallway, Valentina’s knees gracing the floorboards. She had gently urged her to her feet with a finger hooked under her chin, her lips seeking Valentina’s own again. They stumbled and giggled with roaming hands, soft moans that urged each other on, to continue their sort connection, to rebuild all they had let fall apart.

 

Lungs had burnt and muscles had tensed and coiled, hands had roamed, caressed and created cosmic explosions behind closed eyes. Breaths had breathed names like prayers and become heady with want and need, crying out in ecstasy as they both came undone together.

 

As Juliana had laid wrapped in Valentina’s arms hazy, sated and more at home than she had ever felt in four walls, her mind had faltered for a second, trying to give comparison to her time with Sergio but she had sucked in a deep breath and knew that its did not compare at all. She banished the thoughts from her mind, burning their remanence with images of Valentina whispering her name as the waves of her orgasm rippled through her, as Juliana had looked her in the eyes and told her to let go, that she had her, that she was safe.

 

Juliana smiled at the memories and couldn't help but reach across and ghost a finger across Valentina’s perfect lips, relishing in the way they seemed to follow its path, as if by some invisible force they were connected. Juliana believed that to be true. After everything they had been through from the moment they’d met till now, and the battle they faced in the future, she now knew that her and Valentina were meant to be, were meant to be fighting for their love, to be together; the end result of their struggled would be something more beautiful and perfect and theirs, that anything they had been through would pale in comparison.

 

She felt Valentina shift, wriggling closer to her, grabbing at her bare hip beneath the blanket, pulling them together. Valentina hummed and slipped her thigh through Juliana’s legs, tangling them further. Juliana watched as perfect blue eyes began to peek out from behind heavy, sleep laden lids; eyelashes fluttering against radiant skin. She shifted and let go of the blanket bunched at her chest and searched for Valentina’s other hand, kissing their intertwined fingers.

 

_“Una vista perfecta.”_

 

Valentina hummed again, leaning in to capture Juliana’s lips in a sleepy kiss. Juliana couldn't help but think about how well their lips fit together. It was a barely there, _“I’m still half asleep but you’re irresistible,”_ good morning kiss. It was Juliana’s turn to hum; the contact filling her with a heady warmth that spread out across every point of contact that Valentina had on her body. 

 

As brown hues opened into ocean blues, everything seemed right. They both knew that a storm was brewing ahead, but in that moment, in each others arms the world didn’t matter.

 

 _“Buenos dias mi amor.”_      

 

Valentina preened. She’d never get tired of hearing Juliana call her that. Up until a few hours ago, she didn’t think she’d hear it ever again, so she savoured every moment of it.

 

 _“I’m still not used to hearing that but I love it when I do.”_  

 

Juliana brushed their noses together, a smile dancing across her features.

 

_“Que?”_

 

Valentina’s eyes danced across every inched of Juliana’s face before rising up onto her elbow, looking down at her, back now pressed into the bed.

 

_“Being your love.”_

 

Juliana smiled sadly at the innocence and the veiled pain behind the statement. She reached up and tucked a loose strand of Valentina’s hair behind her ear.

 

_“I know we haven't always been together, but you have always been my love Val.”_

 

Valentina searched Juliana’s eyes for any doubts but found only love and adoration and fierce want, for her, the same want she had. Valentina shifted and threw her leg over Juliana, straddling her. Juliana’s hands immediately migrated to Valentina’s now bare hips, the blanket she was under falling behind her, leaving her naked form on display for Juliana to view as she wished. 

 

“ _Te amo… every piece of you. The sum and all its parts. The good and what you feel is bad. Amo todo de ti.”_

 

Juliana watched in awe at the rise and fall of Valentina’s chest, at the way her ribs separated slightly with each breath; at the way her skin felt like fire beneath her fingertips. She rose up into a sitting position, Valentina still on her lap, legs now curled around behind her, arms resting on her shoulders. Juliana’s fingertips splayed out across Valentina’s back as she straddled her, holding her firm, holding her close. 

 

_“You are every part of me Valentina.”_

 

Valentina’s hands migrated to Juliana’s hair as soft lips placed delicate kisses to her neck as down her sternum, and then finally to her lips. It was electric but at the same time it felt like home and the heat between them a comfort; like an old shirt Juliana could wear everywhere or what used to be the burn of alcohol on a regular basis for Valentina; now replaced.

 

Valentina’s breath became heavy as Juliana slipped a hand between them and cupped her centre. It seemed that Juliana was a quick study and Valentina could do little more than fall apart as purposeful, yet delicate fingers slipped inside her. As Juliana began a steady rhythm, Valentina held her gaze, eyes alight with a building ecstasy. They moved as one, breaths in sync, their rise and fall a conducted symphony of touches, of kisses, of breathless moans, and as Juliana shifted her wrist slightly, her thumb connecting with the sensitive bundle of nerves at her core, Valentina’s fingers gripped the muscles in Juliana’s back, face buried into her neck, her mind swimming and swirling, her vision fogging.

 

Juliana relished in the way Valentina gripped onto her and how her name filtered through heavy breaths from slightly parted lips into the crook if her neck. She peppered Valentina’s shoulder with soft, butterfly kisses as she focused on maintaining her rhythm. She made little mental notes of the changes in Valentina’s breathing an how hazy and distant her whispers of pleasure had become but tried like hell to stay in the moment with her. 

 

It was beautiful, the sight in front of her. Valentina’s flushed skin against her own, every sound and shift just for her. Juliana was still in awe of the fact that she was the one making Valentina feel these things, was the one sending her over the edge. She gently cupped Valentina’s cheek, coaxing her out of the crook of her neck. Valentina obliged and mired the action. She forced her eyes open, their blues darkened with both want and fulfilled pleasure, looking into hues of brown; gold flecked irises dwarfed by dilated pupils, before crashing her lips against Juliana’s. It was a distraction of sorts, a way of trying to prolong things but merely served to be the opposite as Juliana’s tongue skated across her bottom lip begging entry, a request Valentina would never refuse. She’d never felt this with anyone else she’d been with; she felt seen, she felt cared for, she felt loved, with only her pleasure being sort. And she was close; her stomach muscles giving her away, flexing with every move, as the coil at her core tightened and then snapped; her inner walls contracting around Juliana’s still moving fingers. 

 

She gripped Juliana’s shoulders again, teeth lightly sinking into her soft skin. Juliana could have sworn she’d almost came herself at that moment; the grazing of Valentina’s teeth into her skin something she hadn't known she’d needed until that very moment.

 

It spurred Juliana on; coaxing out every ripple with a delicate touch, a soft whisper into Valentina’s ear. As her breathing steadied and her grip on Juliana’s back lessened, Valentina slowly shifted to look into her eyes. She found Juliana’s filled with both a wonderment and a veiled pride. She smiled as Val looked at her, hands now back on bare, sweat sheened hips. 

 

 _“Wow.”_ Valentina breathed out as she placed a soft kiss to Juliana’s lips. Juliana smiled into it before rolling them both over so that she was now above Valentina. A mischievous grin spreading across her face as she looked down at her.

 

_“No he terminado contigo todavia”_

 

Valentina raised a curious eyebrow, feeling herself flush with desire once more.

 

_“Oh?”_

 

Juliana nodded and began kissing her way down Valentina’s body, maintaining eye contact as she went.

 

_“Unless you have somewhere else you’d rather be?”_

 

Juliana felt rather than saw Valentina’s response as her head disappeared below the blanket that Valentina had a death drip on as Juliana’s tongue flicked across her skin.

 

Valentina was seeing stars, her mind a cloud of hazy affirmations, of all the things she’d ever want to say to Juliana and hope to make her feel. And as she crashed over the edge into another orgasm, her mind went blank, almost forgetting how to breathe.

 

Her lungs kickstarted again as Juliana snaked her way up her body. Valentina grabbed her fiercely and kissed the air out of her lungs, trying to keep herself in check, but as she pulled back and captured Juliana’s eyes with her own, the dam broke; every emotion she’d felt in the past twenty- four hours, crashing over her, filling her eyes with tears, her chest wracking with a heavy sob. She kissed Juliana again, trying to make sure she knew that it wasn't because of anything she had done wrong.

 

 _“Te amo…”_ The only words she could manage as Juliana wiped the tears from her cheeks.

 

_“Estás bien?”_

 

Valentina nodded in response but her tears still flowed. Juliana gathered Valentina in her arms, holding her tightly, wrapped around her from behind.

 

_“Oye… shh. Está bien, te tengo.”_

 

Valentina felt her panic begin to subside as she lay cocooned in Juliana’s arms; relishing in the way she stroked her hair and kissed her neck every so often.

 

After several long minutes Valentina finally felt like she could speak. She turned over and faced Juliana, her head finding space on the same pillow.

 

_“Tell me something?”_

 

Juliana looked at her with soft eyes, no pity present, only love and concern.

 

_“Like what?”_

 

Valentina snuggled in closer, her nose nudging Juliana’s gently.

 

_“Cualquier cosa”_

 

Juliana smiled and made sure Valentina was comfortable before she began her story in a soft voice.

 

_“Its a few years from now. You and I live in a huge apartment in the city. It’s the penthouse of a luxury building, towering above businesses and homes below. Its stocked full of art, books and framed photos. There is a giant kitchen where I cook us breakfast every morning and where we argue about whose turn it is to load the dishwasher. We entertain friends and family often, knowing how important it is to hold onto our roots, while achieving our dreams. After long days at the office, you often come home to find me passed out among fabric samples, balls of scrunched paper and designs for the biggest runways all around the world. My favourite thing about the apartment is the large ensuite bathroom with two person, free standing bath tub. But it occurs to me often as we immerse ourselves in the hot, bubble capped water, that it isn't my favourite thing about the apartment; you are and all the things you do. The way you wake up in the mornings; you stretch and squeak before grabbing hold of my hand, kissing it. The way you look at me when you think I don’t see it because i’m busy with a design, your eyes alight with love and pride. The way your body fits behind mine in our tub, your hands gripping at the knots in my neck. The way you look wearing my favourite designs on the runways of Paris and New York fashion weeks, the envy of everyone. The way you love me even when you hate me because of el pact, because even though I'm difficult most of the time, there is no one else in this world I would ever want to share this life with. Estamos destinadas. Eres mi alma gemela.”_

 

Valentina’s breathing had evened out a while ago and Juliana knew she had been asleep for most of what she had said but she didnt care. She got the chance to say it, to cement it into her existence, to make it a reality. She hoped to be able to give Valentina all of the things she deserves in life and as she kissed her head gently and Valentina snuggled in closer, everything that had together in that moment was enough.

 

* * *

 

By the time Juliana woke again, the room was well and truly ablaze with the days sun. She stretched an arm across the bed but found only cold sheets and empty pace. She grabbed her phone and tried to check the time but its battery and died sometime during the night. Stretching, she kicked her legs off the bed and reached for a shirt that had been ever so carefully laid out for her.

 

She padded through the house on bare feet in search of Valentina and found her leaning against the window frame of the window they had sat in front of last night and talked; this time she was on the phone. Hushed tones couldn't hide the fact that Valentina was upset with whoever was on the other end of the line.

 

_“Por qué te molestaste en llamar entonces? Sé lo que estoy haciendo y es insultante que mo puedas ver eso. No, Eva! Tu no tiene una opinión sobre esto. No te dejaré destruir esto otra vez, Juliana se merece algo mejor.”_

 

With that Valentina hung up the phone, leaning her head against the glass, a sigh permeating from deep within her chest. Juliana stood back for a moment and drank her in; the sunlight making her skin glow. She walked up behind Valentina and wrapped her arms around her. Valentina sae her reflection in the glass and sank back into the embrace. They stood there for a few moments, soaking in the peace and serenity before it was overcome by the chaos that awaited them back in the city.

 

_“You shouldn't burn your bridges for me.”_

 

The comment was soft and whispered from grateful lips. Valentina shook her head and let her fingers dance up and down Juliana’s arms.

 

“ _That was a bridge that I didn’t want to mend. Eva has always tried to get her way. Even now, still, while she's in prison. Her views won’t change and I don’t want that negativity in my life or in yours. We deserve better.”_

 

Juliana kissed the side of Valentina’s head, eyes almost brimming with tears. She couldn't quite believe that Valentina would be willing to cut people from her life just because of her. But then again she could believe it because Valentina was in this.

 

_“I’m guessing she called about the article?”_

 

Valentina turned around in Juliana’s arms, her eyes exploding with an intense blue.

 

“ _Sí, Apparently its a bigger article than I thought it was going to be.”_

 

Juliana kissed her lips gently.

 

_“i’m sure its going to be fine. It will be big now but t will die down soon enough.”_

 

Valentina worried her lip with her teeth. Juliana frowned at the worry on Valentina’s face. She cupped her cheeks and looked her in the eyes. 

 

_“Oye… Everything is going to be okay.”_

 

The comment did little to abate the look on Valentina’s face.

 

_“I don’t think its going to be that simple.”_

 

Juliana’s frown extended across her brow, planting itself there in confusion.

 

_“Why? What’s going on?”_

 

Valentina opened her phone and showed Juliana the article. Juliana took the phone and began to read through it. 

 

_“Apparently when the journalist couldn't find you after the show, they decided to talk to someone else.”_

 

Juliana closed her eyes and sighed. The weight of the article and Valentina’s words settling on her chest. 

 

_“Isabella..”_

 

Valentina rested her head on Juliana’s shoulder and took in the gentle thump of her heart against her skin. 

 

_“I called Mateo and tried to get him to pull the article but as I thought he said he couldn't and that he was sorry that it has put you in this position.”_

 

Juliana shook her head and calmed Valentina.

 

_“No… no its no ones fault but my own. I shouldn't have let things go this far.”_

 

Valentina broke their embrace and urged Juliana to sit with her on the sofa. She continued reading the article. Valentina watched the emotions dance across Juliana’s face until she was finished.

 

_“She can’t say any of this… People can’t seriously believe a word of it.”_

 

Valentina squeezed her hand and looked at her with sad eyes.

 

_“People believe whatever is put in front of them and right now she has the spot light.”_

 

Juliana shook her head defiantly.

 

_“Then we go out there and tell them its not true. Make them see she’s lying.”_

 

Valentina wanted nothing more than to go out there and set the record straight but knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

 

“ _It’s not going to be that easy Juls. We need to look at the bigger picture here.”_

 

Juliana shook her head again and rose to pace back and forth.

 

_“The big picture here Val, is that she has told the whole of Mexico that her and I are together and that all the good I’ve done in my life is due to her; she’s saying everything I should be saying about you.”_

 

Valentina could see Juliana was unravelling before her eyes. She caught Juliana’s hand and made her stop pacing, pulling her into her arms.

 

_“Calma, okay. You and I know she’s lying but we have to be careful not to do anything that will do more harm than good. And as much as it pains me to say so, I think the first step will be to talk to Isabella, to see why she is doing this.”_

 

All Juliana could do was nod and wrap her arms tighter around Valentina. This was it; the oncoming storm. She didn’t know how any of this was going to end or who she’d be when it came down to it but she knew she couldn’t lose Valentina again; so she held on… for dear life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna start by THANKING each and every person who has read this fic and is patiently keeping tabs on it hoping Id update it. I feel like the worst person on the planet for not having updated in forever. I had to take a step back from most of the things I loved as they started to feel heavy and all consuming. Being a creative is hard. It takes every piece of you, you give your whole self. and I guess I tried to give to much. It made me so anxious and like I wasn't good enough so I took some time for me to try and rebuild my love for the creative side of my life. Im not 100 percent yet but Its a day at a time, a step at a time. 
> 
>  
> 
> So to all those people hanging on and sending me good vibes and love. This chapter is for you. 
> 
> THANK YOU

* * *

 

 

*Seis meses antes*

 

Juliana sighed as she tossed the shirt she had put on onto her bed. Nothing she tried on seemed to be comfortable. She had begun to think of it as a sign that maybe she shouldn’t do this. The fact that all she wanted to do was put on a pair of jeans and her favourite oversized hoodie and read a good book was also probably a sign; but her mother had been pushing her to get out and meet new people, to interact with the other students in her class.

 

And she had. It’d been tough given the circumstances under which she had entered their class. Nearly all of them had glared at her for being able to jump the first year and join them in the second; many felt that she had done something to receive such special treatment when in fact it had just been her talent, eye and perseverance that had gifted her the opportunity. Everyone, except Isabella had seen her as not having worked hard enough to be where she was.

 

Isabella seemed nice, polite with a genuine love for design. Something about her had piqued Juliana’s interest and now here she stood, in front of the mirror trying to figure out what to wear. She hadn’t done this for someone before, tried to find the right thing to wear. Whenever she had gone out with Valentina, she’d always known what to wear, she’d always felt comfortable. Maybe that was another reason not to do this; it had been months and she hadn’t heard from her but it still sat heavy on her heart.

 

A wave of guilt washed over her at the thought of being with someone other than Valentina but she pushed it to the side as she told herself. 

 

_“It’s just one date Juliana. Your not doing anything wrong.”_

 

After another few futile moments she finally settled on a pair of tight black jean and a silk blouse which tucked in. She gave herself another quick once over before grabbing her keys and heading out to wait for the taxi she’d ordered. It wasn’t going to be anything fancy, just two people in a restaurant, talking and getting to know each other. She could do that right? She could tell someone about herself?

 

Her heart beat almost painfully in her chest; she was nervous about having to talk to someone, build something with someone outside of the classroom. But as the taxi pulled away the curb and into traffic, Juliana knew that this was it. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath; it was just one date. She could talk to someone, share a meal and a good time at least once. She knew she was talking to herself which in her mind was never a good thing. She always believed if you didn’t want to do something whole heartedly you shouldn’t be doing it at all.

 

But none of that mattered as the taxi came to a stop at the the place she had directed the driver to; this things was happening whether she was fully prepared for it or not. She paid the driver, thanked him and got out onto the busy street. She’d chosen a nice place, that was busy enough for the pair  not to draw attention but classy enough that they'd still be able to hold a conversation without having to yell. It struck Juliana how much she still feared what people would think. Why was it such a big deal to her that people might say something because she was there with a woman; it wasn’t as though she was wearing a big neon sign that screamed “I’m on a date.” It hit her more that while she was terrified in general in the beginning of having feelings for a woman, that she never felt this way when she had been out with Valentina; granted they'd never been on an actual date. 

 

She was pulled from her thoughts by a gentle hand on her arm. Juliana froze for a moment taking in the figure before her. A figure hugging black dress and pumps accentuated by a gold clutch and a tear drop pendant greeted her; she may not have been wearing a sign but Isabella certainly was. Juliana smiled politely, nerves curving her ability to much else. Isabella smiled back and leant over to kiss her cheek. Juliana prayed that Isabella couldn't tell that she was flustered and maybe a little uncomfortable.

 

_“Shall we?”_

 

Juliana nodded and waved Isabella forward so that she could follow behind her into the restaurant. They were greeted by a server at the door and escorted to a table near the back, much to Juliana’s liking. They sat in silence for a few moments, Juliana intently focused on the menu in front of her and was glad when a young man came over to take their drink order. 

 

_“Hi, I’ll have a glass of you best Pinot Grigio.”_

 

The server nodded then turned his attention to Juliana, who smiled awkwardly.

 

_“And for you señorita?”_

 

She looked back at her menu and then to the man waiting on her words.

 

_“Um… I’ll just have some water thank you.”_

 

Without another word the pair were left alone again; the server leaving to place their drink order. 

 

_“Water? Very adventurous round these parts.”_

 

Juliana felt a flush bite at her neck at being called out for her drink order. 

 

_“I take it you don’t drink then?”_

 

Juliana shook her head.

 

_“No… I don’t have the taste for it. And I l prefer to keep my wits about me.”_

 

Isabella smiled at her nodding at her honesty.

 

_“Do you.. or have you ever let loose? You seem very high strung most of the time.”_

 

Juliana shifted in her chair preparing her response. 

 

_“Is that why everyone ay school hates me? Here I was thinking its because I’m a nobody who jumped the queue into second year and gets to graduate after only one year.”_

 

Isabella laughed wholeheartedly and Juliana felt herself relax a little. 

 

And she did so as the evening wore on. They spoke of family and school and hobbies and dreams of the future. Juliana didn’t have in depth answers for most of the things Isabella asked her but gave just enough for her not to pry further. They ate dinner, which they both genuinely enjoyed. 

 

_“You don’t do this very often either do you? Go on dates with women I mean..”_

 

And there it was, one of the topics of conversation she had been avoiding all night. But there is was and as uncomfortable and slightly ashamed as she felt about not having much experience in dating at all, she couldn't bring herself to lie. 

 

_“No I don't and to be honest, this is kind of the first “official date” I’ve been on.”_

 

Isabella raised her eyebrow curiously before leaning forward to say something in a low voice.

 

_“So you've never…. with a woman?”_

 

Juliana took a sip of water from her glass, eyes never leaving Isabella’s answer wanting ones.

 

_“Would you find it shocking if I said I had?”_

 

Isabella’s eyes sparkled, a smirk playing on her lips. 

 

_“She must have been special if you guys skipped dating and got right down to it.”_

 

Juliana frowned, a simmering anger clenching her stomach.

 

_“It wasn't like that.. we just… she was special.”_

 

The air left her lungs as the realisation dawned of her; as her mind clocked the fact that she’d just referred to Valentina in the past tense, that she’d made the choice to present her as something that had happened rather than as something that is or still could. She swallowed hard as Isabella reached across the table and held her hand. 

 

_“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be insensitive. I’m just trying to get the lay of the land you know, to get to know you better. What were you two like together?”_

 

A lot was going through her mind but wasn't there some rule that you didn't talk about your ex with your current date? But what did she know. She looked at their joined hands on the table.

 

_“We were complicated and beautiful and painful and perfect all at the same time. We were friends and then we weren’t. I hadn't felt that way about anyone before and it made everything a hundred times harder. We were happy and in love until something happened… and I don’t talk about it… I don’t want to talk about it.”_

 

Juliana pulled her hand out from under Isabella’s as the server came over with their check. Juliana handed him the money and smiled at him as he left.

 

_“I’m sorry I didn’t realise that things had ended so badly but look at you taking steps to grab life and move on.”_

 

Juliana smiled almost sadly at Isabella’s words; was that really what she was doing, moving on? She cleared her throat and looked at the time. The restaurant had all but cleared out and Juliana felt that now was a good enough time to end the evening.

 

_“Well thanks for your company tonight but I think its time I headed home.”_

 

She stood without waiting for Isabella to respond. Isabella too stood and grabbed Juliana’s hand.

 

_“I can give you a ride home if you life, I’m parked just around the corner.”_

 

Juliana smiled and shook her head.

 

_“Thanks but I think I’m gonna walk. Have a good night.”_

 

With that Juliana made to leave but felt herself being turned back around and lips gently being pressed to her own. She felt all kids of wrong. She quickly pulled away, a hurried explanation being mumbled as she left.

 

_“I’m sorry I can’t… It’s just… I’m sorry.”_

 

She walked out of the restaurant and onto the footpath which was still surprisingly busy. She took a deep breath and headed in the direction of her apartment, getting lost in the people around her.

 

As her key scraped into the lock, she felt herself release a breath she’d most likely been holding onto since Isabella had kissed her. Why had she done that? As far as she was concerned she hadn't given off any “kiss me” signals. If anything, she felt like she had given off a closed vibe, a “I’m new to this and just want to get to know how it feels first” vibe.

 

She groaned as she slumped down onto her sofa. Dating was the worst thing anyone had ever come up with and Juliana knew she wasn't going to live this down; school was going to be even more awkward than before and she was pretty sure she’d just lost the only friend she had there. All she wanted to do was crawl under a rock and die but was pulled form her thoughts by her phone chiming away in her pocket. She fished it out and was surprised by the notification on her screen; a message from Isabella.

 

_“Hey, I had a great time tonight. We should do it again sometime soon. I look forward to getting to know more of you… Bella xx”_

 

Juliana frowned and let the phone fall onto the cushion beside her. She was now even more confused than before; but was grateful that she hadn't mentioned their kiss .Juliana didnt want to acknowledge it ever again. She wanted to wipe it from her memory like it never happened.

 

And as she returned to school it had appeared like she had succeeded, Isabella not having brought it up again. Things felt different now though, there was a subtle air to how Isabella would act around her small touches, glances and smiled, something Juliana might have been able to pass off as friendly if it wasn't for vested interest in getting to know her “better”. Everything felt like there was a notion of that they were together; lunch at school, meetings at coffee shops and walks in the park. Juliana was getting used to having someone around all the time, someone who seemed like she had her interests at heart. She could admit she was somewhat attracted to Isabella, it wasn't like she was ugly or a bad person but deep down all Juliana wanted to do was get through the rest of the semester and that meant her showcase.

 

Isabella had appointed herself the coordinator of Juliana’s show and everything seemed on track o be just how she had wanted it to be. It wasn’t to far out from the showcase and Isabella had texted and asked Juliana to come to her apartment and go over some last minute things on an outfit.

 

*PRESENT*

 

Juliana was pulled from the memory as the door before her swung open and Isabella’s smirking face greeted her. It took everything Juliana had not to shove Isabella back into the apartment and let out the anger she could feel bubbling away inside of her. She held onto the thought of Valentina’s hand in her own, her soothing words. Valentina had wanted to come with her but Juliana had wanted to fix this herself; it was because of her that they were in this position in the first place. 

 

Juliana had called Isabella to arrange the meeting. Isabella’s voice had been sickly sweet and filled with child like idiocy; it had bit at Juliana’s nerves and her patience wore thinner than before. Isabella had jumped at the chance to see Juliana, which wasn't surprising, so they set a time.

 

Valentina had given her a ride to Isabella’s apartment and promised she’d wait in the car for as long as it took to sort this mess out. Juliana loved Valentina’s strength in this situation. She drew from it and used it to make sure she herself wouldnt waiver. 

 

_“Hey! Come in”_

 

Juliana kept her face neutral and took a wide birth when stepping past Isabella into the apartment. She was sure to keep her eyes on Isabella at all times, her back almost never towards her; she didnt want to give her any opportunity to surprise her.

 

As soon as the door was closed Juliana let her facade fall and what greeted Isabella as she stepped up to Juliana would have been enough to make even the toughest commando think twice about what was to happen next. Juliana knew it was the parts of her father in her breaking though but in that moment she didnt care. 

 

_“What the hell have you done??”_

 

Isabella tried to step into Juliana’s space and grab her hand.

 

_“No.. Don’t. I want answers Isabella. NOW!”_

 

Juliana was surprised at the strength and demanding tone of her voice but held onto it. She was pissed and wanted to know what the hell was wrong with Isabella. Juliana tracked her with cold eyes as Isabella stepped around her and sat down on the large black sofa that adorned one wall of the room.

 

_“I told the truth..”_

 

Juliana scoffed as the words hit her ears.

 

_“You’ve got to be kidding me… Do you hear yourself? I told you that we are nothing and won't ever be anything. What part of that wasn't clear?”_

 

A hurt flickered across Isabella’s eyes. 

 

_“You left and the reporter came looking for you. I said what I had to, to protect you. This is a good thing, a step forward for us and society. Don’t you see, we've started something, a discourse.”_

 

Juliana crossed her arms and shook her head in utter disbelief. 

 

_“You did this for you and no one else. All of this. Ever since we met has been on sick game to you and I wanna know who put you up to it. I have to believe that there is still some good part of you, that there is a reason behind you doing this.”_

 

Isabella lent forward, elbows resting on her knees, hands clasped together, a defiant sparkle in her eyes.

 

_“I think the question you really wanna ask is how you get yourself out of this… with minimal damage.”_

 

* * *

 

 

Valentina sat in the back of her chauffeured car, trying to hold herself together. All she really wanted to do was bust down Isabella’s door and knock some sense into her but she knew that would only make things even worse for her and Juliana. So she sat and waited for Juliana to return, doing everything to pass the time. Her mind wandered to the previous days activities and felt a flush bite at her neck, and a gentle smile pull at the corners of her mouth.

 

Fingers roamed skin, mapping pathways like roads. 

 

Lips kissed and worshipped.

 

Breath breathed names like prayers.

 

Valentina bit her lip at the continuing thoughts but jumped slightly as her phone began to ring in her lap. She eyed its screen, a smile blossoming onto her lips a Guille’s name appeared. She put the phone to her ear as she answered.

 

_“Hola!”_

 

Her happiness soon turned to a frown printed on her brow, as Guille’s words washed over her. 

 

_“What?…. Guille slow down. Yes I’m with the driver. Julianna is… what do you mean you know? I… okay I’ll be back as soon as I can.”_

 

She frowned, confused as hell at what Guille had said. It then dawned on her; she turned around and peered out the back window and caught a glimpse of a photographer hiding in some bushes a little way back. They must have gotten here and taken photos and sent them back to the paper’s offices. The SUV she was in had distinctive plates and as the images came in Guille recognised them.

 

She felt a rage begin to bubble within her and all she wanted to do was confront the man but knew that wouldn’t do anyone any favours. She unlocked her phone and sent Juliana a text.

 

_“We need to leave now!”_

 

A few moments passed before the back door was opening and Juliana was slipping in beside her.

 

_“What’s wrong?”_

 

Valentina didn’t answer her.

 

_“Allirio… to the office por favor.”_

 

As the SUV pulled away down the street, Valentina took a moment, a breath to centre herself. She felt her rage and anxiety ease as Juliana slipped her hand into her own, fingers intertwining.

 

_“Val?”_

 

Azul eyes opened, filled with a light that Juliana hoped to see forever, a smile pulled at the corner of Juliana’s mouth, trying to ease her further.

 

_“What’s wrong? Why are we heading back to the office?”_

 

Valentina licked her lips before answering.

 

_“Guille called. Photo’s were sent to the office.”_

 

Juliana frowned.

 

_“What photos?… of the showcase?”_

 

Valentina shook her head and played with their intertwined fingers.

 

_“No. There was a photographer outside Isabella’s apartment. Apparently he took some photos of you entering and this car was in them. Guille caught them and called me back into the office. I’m sorry.”_

 

Juliana felt another small part off her break inside; she had put Valentina in the middle of yet another impossible situation. Her eyes danced across Valentina’s down cast face and into her eyes as a gentle finger guided her gaze back up to her. Juliana cupped Valentina’s cheek with her free hand, thumb caressing her soft, blush pink, perfect lips. 

 

_“You have nothing to apologise for. This is on Isabella. She probably paid that photographer to be there. I know things are tough but everything will be okay.”_

 

Valentina lent into Juliana’s hand, her eyes searching for the doubt she herself felt in the back of her mind but found only truth, acceptance and assurance. 

 

_“How do you know everything will work out?”_

 

A soft smiled painted itself across Juliana’s lips.

 

_“Because I love you and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep loving you.”_

 

Valentina felt  a pride swell in her chest, her heart pounding gleefully against its cage. Juliana had come so far in believing in herself and her feelings for Valentina. Even though they hadn't always been, the feelings they had for each other had only strengthened and Juliana had become more sure of herself everyday. Valentina’s eyes flicked to Juliana’s lips and like a planet orbiting the sun, she gravitated towards her.

 

Juliana breathed her in.

 

The way their lips fit together; like two pieces of a puzzle made only for each other.

 

The gentle push and pull of their tongues dancing to a song written about them.

 

The hitch of breath as Juliana’s hand slid down Valentina’s neck.

 

The way Valentina rested their foreheads together as they ended the kiss. 

 

Juliana couldn't imagine this with anyone else. This was it for her; she had decided. Valentina was the rest of her life, her forever, and while she knew it wasn't going to be easy she did know that this was theirs and she would do anything to make sure nothing came between them ever again.


End file.
